So it looks like I entirely forgot to write my quarterly wrap-up for the first quarter of this year, a fact I didn’t even notice until I randomly stumbled on one of my old quarterly wrap-ups and went, “oh, right. I wonder when the last time was that I did one of those things?” Answer? Last year. Hopefully I can be forgiven for this since at the end of the first quarter we were still adjusting to life in quarantine with no pre-school, and we had some other family issues to contend with. So here are the last 6 months of reading!
JANUARY
The new year is always a time when I want something comforting and familiar, so I often re-read. This year I really enjoyed listening to an audiobook of the first Harry Potter book (this being before Rowling blew herself up with her anti-Trans statements, which I think will affect my enjoyment of these books for some time to come). Such a Fun Age was one I was super excited to try, having heard about it everywhere. I was glad I read it, though it did leave me with some conflicting emotions. Which I think is what the author was going for, so I don’t see it as a bad thing. Long Bright River was the January book club pick for Acacia Ives‘ Patreon book club. I ended up reading it but not discussing it because I really didn’t know what to say. It was a difficult book to read – both in terms of the subject matter and how it was written. It isn’t a favourite, but I think if you like realistic thrillers with lots of grey area and darkness, this will be a good one for you.
FEBRUARY
Jacqueline Woodson is a wonder. She is, I believe, a poet, and that consciousness of language and the power of a perfectly placed word comes through in her writing. I loved Another Brooklyn and was really excited to try this one. I though it was just as beautiful, and I liked the choices she made in traveling back and forth through time to show us her characters’ lives and struggles. It was a powerful analysis of race, family and the cost of dreams. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse was a beautiful little book. It’s full of these gorgeous drawings that are simple but evocative, and the words have a similar and complimentary effect. Quick, but well worth your time. Good Talk is one of my favourites of the year so far. Mira Jacob talks about what it feels like to be a person of colour in the US, and the particular issues that come with being in an inter-racial relationship and raising a bi-racial child. The questions her young son asks her are heartbreaking, and her struggle to answer him is even more so. As a parent of a White kid who struggles with answering the BIG questions, I can’t imagine how difficult it is to answer questions like “if White people are racist because they’re afraid of me, does that mean Daddy is afraid of me too because he’s White?” I mean, how do you deal with that kind of question from your child? She also talks about the micro-aggressions she experiences in her work life and from her in-laws, and the effect they have on her and on her relationship. These are the kinds of things that, as White people, we might assume are just an overreaction to things that weren’t meant that way. But it’s important to start looking at these exchanges and not having those knee-jerk urges to downplay or dismiss. Because even if it wasn’t meant that way, that’s how it felt to her because of how she has been treated in her life, and that’s what really matters. It helped me see some instances of racist micro-aggressions and I’m hopeful it will help me recognize them if I am exposed to them in future, so I can do a better job of addressing and pointing them out. Pumpkinheads is one I picked up for a bit of light relief. It was that, but not much more. It was okay, but as an adult reader, I didn’t really connect to the teen angst in this one.
MARCH
I didn’t realize until I was compiling this post that I didn’t finish any books in March. Now, there was a lot going on. COVID hit, my kid was already off on Spring Break (that just never ended), we had work happening in our house that was stressful and tiring, and I was trying to make slow headway through Ducks, Newburyport (without much success). So yeah, no finished books in March.
APRIL
In April I began my reading for the BookTube Prize. These three books were the first three from my list. Of the three I enjoyed City of Girls the most, but was probably most affected by and admiring of Women Talking as a piece of literature. That said, I took issue with the author’s decision of how to frame the story and had a hard time with the subject matter and pacing. Objectively there was nothing wrong with it, it just didn’t work for me as a reader. The Innocents was close on the heels of Women Talking, and I am definitely glad I got a chance to read Michael Crummey. Also not my jam, but through no fault of the book.
MAY
I finally managed to finish Ducks, Newburyport after months of fits and starts. I credit the Prize and the fact that it was finally released as an audiobook! In the end I loved it and was so glad I was given the motivation to stick with it. It repaid my efforts handsomely. I also really enjoyed Middle England. It had a lot more going on than I expected, and I appreciated that through the lives of several characters, it addressed a bunch of social and political issues. That was the end of my Prize reading since I had already read (and loved) Girl, Woman, Other. After the Prize reading was complete, I went on to re-read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society as an audiobook, and then The Secret Garden in combination as a Kindle In Motion book and as an audiobook. I thoroughly enjoyed both.
JUNE
By June events had begun to unfold in the US that brought Black Lives Matter to the fore in my awareness, and I began looking at my reading more closely, realizing that although I have increased the number of books I’ve been reading by Black authors in the last year and a half, I need to do a better job of actively seeking out books by Black authors and making sure they’re getting read. These were the first ones I picked up from a list I compiled of more than 200 books by Black authors that I want to read. Both had been on my shelves for ages and I was excited to read them. Ghost is a middle grade book about a young boy who, through his ability to run, ends up on a track team that not only gives him some experience training, but changes his life as he is suddenly part of a team and has someone looking out for him when his mom is at work. I really enjoyed the book and really wish it had been around when I was a kid, as I think it would have been even more impactful if I’d read it then. Small Island was good, but not as good as I expected. I had trouble connecting with the characters (though I think that was at least partially intentional), and found it to be a bit longer and more meandering than really necessary. I’m glad I got to it, though, and I really enjoyed the mini-series of the same name based on it.
Looking back at my last quarterly wrap-up at the end of 2019, it seems like such an innocent post with hopes for what 2020 had in store. If only I’d known. This one has me feeling tired, stressed, and above all, scared. I’ve never felt my mortality as such a weight on my shoulders, and never have I felt like I had so much to lose. I know that I am very lucky compared to so many people who are either putting their lives on the line as frontline and essential workers, or suffering catastrophic consequences of COVID in the form of unemployment, loss of income, loss of housing, lost loved ones or illness. I have a roof over my head, food to eat and the ability to stay at home and remain shielded. I don’t want to seem ungrateful for that. But if I’m honest, as lucky as I am, I am still overwhelmed and terrified. I’m also frustrated that, because I’m so vulnerable and can’t allow for any risk, I can’t participate in any way with Black Lives Matter protesting or volunteer to help older or more vulnerable members of my community since I am one. But mostly, I’m worried about my daughter and the impact isolation is having on her, especially since there’s no indication that we’ll be able to change anything for the rest of the year. She’s doing really well for such a young kid, but she is sad a lot of the time that she can’t go to the park or to school, that her grandparents can’t come visit and that she can’t hug the family she can see. It’s been hard, and it’s not going to be getting any easier anytime soon. I don’t know how parents who are having to work while taking care of kids at home or single parents are managing right now, and I have so much admiration for moms who have multiple young kids they’re now caring for without breaks. It’s hard, and leads to a lot of guilt and worry. The only silver lining is that we’ve been coming up with lots of activities to try, and on good days, it’s really fun to be spending this time together.
I’m thankful that I’m still here, and that I have what I need. I hope you, whoever you are, are safe, healthy and also have what you need to care for yourself and your family. Stay safe, and please, for people like me, wear a mask and stay home if you’re sick!
