Learning later in life that you’ve had a uniquely functioning brain your entire life is not easy. It comes with a lot of conflicting emotions and a re-framing of past decisions, mistakes, and challenges. Emma Mahony has written a memoir that takes the reader through this journey of diagnosis and self-reflection as she is diagnosed with ADHD. Each step comes with challenges and shifts in her understanding of herself, as well as how she navigates her relationships with the people and endeavours of her life.
An interesting part of the book is how it’s structured to include sections that provide accurate information and resources about ADHD. This serves to address some of the myths that have been built up around ADHD diagnosis, as well as busting some structurally unsound stereotypes. This is particularly important for readers who may be dealing with their own diagnosis, wondering if they may have ADHD, or trying to understand someone in their life better. I enjoyed the balance this book creates between the personal and the factual.
I have had trouble finding memoirs by people with ADHD that are about what ADHD means for them, how it feels to live in an ADHD brain, the effects it has on their lives and how they came to terms with a late diagnosis or have transitioned from childhood to adulthood with ADHD. There are memoirs dealing with addiction, mental illness and other related issues that have a co-morbid ADHD diagnosis, but it’s hard to find books where that’s the main focus. So this was an excellent find, and I’m glad to have had the opportunity to hear this important first-person account.
I found this book to be very interesting and I got a lot out of it. Was it perfect? No. There are some sweeping statements the author makes about “all people with ADHD” or “all women with ADHD” that are just inaccurate, and this was difficult to read. But even that seemed in keeping with how ADHD sometimes creates an expansive, energetic and overly forceful personality. It’s the lack of a filter, perhaps. (Notice, though, how I didn’t say ALL people with ADHD have this – because they definitely don’t!) One of the things I’m learning about ADHD and find to be both fascinating and very confusing is just how varied its presentations can be, and how juxtaposition of opposite extremes of symptoms, often in the same person, seem to be its hallmark. It can create an intense sensitivity to criticism and an ability to pick up on the most minute of emotional cues. Or it can create a reduced sensitivity to other people’s experiences and emotions. And, for extra fun, it can do both at the same time. So I, correctly or not, have considered that some of these expansive over-generalizations could be part of the fact that this book was written by a woman who has ADHD – but then again, maybe not. Either way, there were times where I must have had a skeptical expression on my face while reading!
I do think, though, that it explores eloquently how it’s possible to make it to the age of fifty-two without ever being diagnosed as having ADHD, even when it’s clearly been a huge driving factor in many areas of life. This is a particular issue for women. Until relatively recently, all study of ADHD had been done on boys and men. Because of this, it has only recently begun to be recognized as a different beast in women. That trademark external hyperactivity is less likely to be present because it can happen within the brain rather than the body. The struggle to focus in class is less apparent when it isn’t accompanied by disruptive behaviour, and because girls are more socially pressured to be quiet and “good” and perform well in school, girls would work twice as hard to keep up rather than showing the deficits – and this would often work well, until it didn’t.
A lot of this is explored, and this memoir is one of a growing body of writing that explores the different types of ADHD and how it often manifests in women. More broadly, we are learning that there are three main types of ADHD – hyperactive (the one you think of as traditionally ADHD), inattentive (the one we’re learning more often shows up in women), and combined which is a more equal mix of the two. Now, all people with ADHD will likely have symptoms that fall into each category, but the diagnosis will identify which one is most predominantly present in that patient. There’s also a fair amount of crossover with related types of neurodiversity – many people with ADHD also exhibit some symptoms of autism and may have a higher risk of things like dyslexia or dyscalculia.
I’m really glad to have found this book. ADHD is a topic that bears personal connection for me, and so finding books like this are an important way to further my understanding of what it means to live with ADHD – for better and worse. I hope that more people will read this book to dispel the misconception of what ADHD is – and, perhaps, see how it can apply to themselves or people in their life who had seemed, previously, to just make bad decisions, forget things a lot, and have trouble with day-to-day functions. I’m learning that, particularly for mothers, ADHD diagnosis can be a game changer, and it’s something I really want more women to learn about so that they can recognize it. I’d definitely recommend this book to anyone who has an interest – personal or academic – in ADHD and neurodiversity. It’s a great resource and a valuable perspective.
Everything – and nothing – changed once Emma Mahony was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 52. In Better Late Than Never she seeks to reduce the stigma around diagnosis as an adult, and provides support for anyone who finds themselves in the same situation or thinks they may suffer from ADHD.
Offering helpful advice alongside Emma’s experience, subjects covered include:
• Seeking diagnosis later in life
• Getting a diagnosis
• How ADHD can present and how it varies between men and women
• Medication and self-medication
• Getting help
• Heritability
• Thriving beyond diagnosis
So much can be done to help sufferers of ADHD. This book will help you to survive and to thrive. – Goodreads
Book Title: Better Late Than Never
Author: Emma Mahony
Series: No
Edition: Audiobook
Published By: Trigger Publishing
Released: January 1, 2020
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Neurodivergence, Late Life Diagnosis
Pages: 256
Date Read: July 18-19, 2023
Rating: 7/10
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.05/5 (119 ratings)