When I received a review request for this book I was instantly intrigued. The premise is one close to my heart; women sharing their most intimate stories is something I think is not only brave, but vitally important. Our voices have been silenced or subdued for so long, and they need to be heard. Then there is the format – the imagery in this book is just gorgeous, and matches the subject matter perfectly. Everything about it spoke to me, and I’m so glad I listened.
The book begins with Myriam hitting her early 40s having been consumed by her work and not yet having found a solid relationship that would lead to parenthood. This brings with it a mounting sense of urgency to have a baby – not just because she wants to be a mother, but because she wants to experience pregnancy and childbirth. Since she isn’t in a relationship, she makes the very daunting and difficult decision to pursue motherhood solo.
Thus begins a long, harrowing and extremely emotional journey towards that goal. Myriam’s story is not a simple or easy one. This book is one devastating setback after another. She has to endure invasive tests, injections, hormonal rollercoasters, more than one failed pregnancy, impossible decisions and a rather poorly but intrepid pet rabbit.
The main thought that kept occurring to me while reading this book (and since) is that I don’t know how Myriam survived everything she went through. I don’t know how she kept picking herself up after devastating losses and not only continuing on, but trying again. I don’t know how she managed to face the tough choices she did or how she managed to not only hold onto her sanity, but to maintain a sense of hope and faith. This book is a testament to the resilience of human beings, of women, and, in the end, of mothers. It’s a vital testament to the importance of having a strong community around you to help you through the difficult times in life and to heal. And it’s a truly magical story of one woman’s determination to take on a new role and build a family.
I can’t commend Myriam enough for writing this book. I’ve said I don’t know how she survived these lived experiences, but I’m even more blown away that she had the strength (and time, honestly, babies are a lot of work) to then relive it to write this book. But I’m so grateful that she did. I have never had a miscarriage, but someone close to me has, and I have some vivid memories of witnessing her pain and heartbreak. I didn’t have the same fertility journey, but I did have some difficult experiences of the medicalization of pregnancy and birth, and I know just how hard it can be to navigate it and be seen as a person in a system that is thoroughly dehumanizing. Further to that, I am just so happy to see women’s most intimate and difficult experiences shared. I feel like we don’t talk enough about our struggles with pregnancy or infertility or miscarriage. We don’t talk about these things because they’re too painful or too hard to put into words or too private or because we feel too much shame. The result is carrying the weight of whatever our journey has loaded us down with alone. We feel isolated, and we feel like no one else has been through what we have. But they have, so many times, and all around us. This book shone a light onto how much goes on behind the scenes on the road to motherhood, and reminds us that whatever that journey looks like, we’re not alone.
I don’t have anything negative to say about this book. It was beautifully written, gorgeously illustrated, honest, open and very brave. Myriam did an amazing job of teasing out the most important parts of her story, both sad and hopeful, to create a book that is impossible to put down. The illustrator took the story Myriam shared and managed to match her work to it perfectly. I particularly loved that it’s mostly black and white except for vibrant fuscia accents – which exactly match Myriam’s hair. It made the book feel even more personal, and aesthetically it worked wonderfully.
If you’ve struggled to become a mother or lost a baby, if you’ve had to beat the biological clock or make difficult decisions about whether to wait for the perfect partner or make a family alone, this is the book for you. If you want to understand what women go through on this incredibly hard but beautiful journey, this book will show you. And if you are just looking for a kickass feminist graphic novel that will make you want to read the whole thing in one sitting, this is it. I loved reading this book. I laughed, I cried and I felt less alone. I can’t recommend it highly enough and I will definitely read it again, probably several times. So should you.
**Special thanks to Myriam who not only waited patiently for me to catch up on my BookTube Prize reading before getting to this review book, but for hand delivering a copy to me! I’m so grateful that you shared your work and your story with me, and I very much hope you write a sequel so I can see what hilarious experiences motherhood brought you – I’m sure you’ve got some great stories!
A deeply moving tragicomic graphic memoir about a single woman’s efforts to conceive in her forties.
A few months after Myriam Steinberg turned forty, she decided she couldn’t wait any longer to become a mother. She made the difficult decision to begin the process of conceiving a child without a partner. With her family and friends to support her, she picked a sperm donor and was on her way.
But Myriam’s journey was far from straightforward. She experienced the soaring highs and devastating lows of becoming pregnant and then losing her babies. She grappled with the best decision to make when choosing donors or opting for a medical procedure. She experienced first-hand the silences, loneliness, and taboos that come with experiences of fetal loss. Unafraid to publicize her experiences, though, she found that, in return, friends and strangers alike started sharing their own fertility stories with her. Although the lack of understanding and language around fetal loss and grief often made it very hard to navigate everyday life, she nonetheless found solace in the community around her who rallied to support her through her journey.
Through it all, Myriam remained hopeful and here she unflinchingly shares her story with wry humour, honesty, and courage. Beautifully illustrated by Christache, Catalogue Baby is one woman’s story of tragedy and beating the odds, and is a resource for all women and couples who are trying to conceive. Catalogue Baby is a compassionate portrait of fertility and infertility that hasn’t been seen before. – Goodreads
** Thanks to the author for providing a review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! **
Book Title: Catalogue Baby
Author: Myriam Steinberg (Illustrated by Christache)
Series: No
Edition: Paperback
Published By: Page Two Books
Released: March 2, 2021
Genre: Memoir, Graphic Novel, Fertility, Family
Pages: 304
Date Read: May 22, 2021
Rating: 10/10
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.71/5 (73 ratings)