This was the first book I read in 2023. If I’m honest I’ve been putting off writing this review – not because I didn’t like it (I really, really did), but because I’m still not sure what I want to say about it. I don’t have a proper explanation for it, but this book felt like it hit me deeply, in a way that’s rare. I’m still trying to put together why, because it’s not like the story in these pages bears much resemblance to my own.
Elamin Abdelmahmoud’s memoir takes us through his life – from his childhood in Sudan to his immigration to Canada when he was 12, the difficulty he had adjusting to life in Canada and the choices he had to make about who he was going to be in his new home. It’s not easy being a kid in general. It’s even harder if you’re a kid who – very noticeably – is different. When you’re a recent immigrant from a very different country and culture who is just learning English… well, you stand out. Abdelmahmoud shares all his struggles to maintain his family connection, fit in at school, learn English and still deal with the issues all young people experience while trying to figure out who they are and want to be.
This book tackles a lot of very important issues and ideas. First is what it means to move, particularly to move as a child. Second is what it means to enter a culture in which there’s a specific idea of you based on physical features that are framed differently – in this instance it’s the idea of what it means to be Black in North America – an idea that didn’t exist in the same way in Sudan. Third is the push/pull dynamic when you have one culture and language at home, and another in the world around you, and how you navigate that constant back and forth. These are some of the main ones, but of course there are many more.
It has been a year since I read this book, so many of the details have faded a bit. But the feeling of this book has stuck with me and is one I revisit often. I grew up as the child of immigrants and surrounded by immigrants (and refugees) thanks to my mother teaching English as a second language. So I was surrounded by people who were going through exactly this transition, often with a lot of trauma mixed in. In comparison, my own experience was not notable – I spoke the language and came from a similar culture (my parents were from the UK). I didn’t feel like I belonged, but I fit in a little more easily than most of our extended group – at least on the surface.
Though my experience was in no way anything like Abdelmahmoud’s, I have a glimmer of recognition for the feeling of not understanding or fitting into the culture around you. And, thanks to the people in my life, I saw first hand what it meant to have to learn a whole new language, and the limits that were imposed on some of the people in our lives who were unable to navigate simple day-to-day interactions due to this learning curve. I witnessed the discomfort, the isolation and the sadness this caused, and that has always stuck with me.
I haven’t read another book that captures this experience as vividly and evocatively as this book does – both my own sense of otherness, and the much more difficult situations of the immigrants I knew. It’s such a vital perspective to learn about, because it’s one that allows for empathy in our communities towards those who have been displaced or who have made the difficult decision to uproot their lives (and families) to start over in a whole new place. I feel like, particularly in the US, refugees and immigrants are vilified and used as scapegoats for the issues experienced in the lives of working class (mostly white) people in the destination country. I find this view to be extremely distressing and inaccurate, and it upsets me how little effort is put into understanding what it’s like from the other side. This book was a great look into that side, and it had me completely invested from the first page.
I would like to recommend this book to pretty much everyone. I think most of you here are already aware of this issue, and I would venture a guess that your attitude is empathetic towards immigrants rather than a negative one. But even if that’s the case, there’s so much in these pages that speaks to the universal experiences of growing up, finding one’s place, choosing one’s future (and how that is affected by family views), and being able to share the whole of yourself. It’s a great book, and I definitely plan to read it again in the future.
From one of the most beloved media personalities of his generation comes a one-of-a-kind reflection on Blackness, faith, language, pop culture, and the challenges and rewards of finding your way in the world.
Professional wrestling super fandom, Ontario’s endlessly unfurling 401 highway, late nights at the convenience store listening to heavy metal–for writer and podcast host Elamin Abdelmahmoud, these are the building blocks of a life. Son of Elsewhere charts that life in wise, funny, and moving reflections on the many threads that weave together into an identity.
Arriving in Canada at age 12 from Sudan, Elamin’s teenage years were spent trying on new ways of being in the world, new ways of relating to his almost universally white peers. His is a story of yearning to belong in a time and place where expectation and assumptions around race, faith, language, and origin make such belonging extremely difficult, but it’s also a story of the surprising and unexpected ways in which connection and acceptance can be found.
In this extraordinary debut collection, the process of growing–of trying, failing, and trying again to fit in–is cast against the backdrop of the memory of life in a different time, and different place–a Khartoum being bombed by the United States, a nation seeking to define and understand itself against global powers of infinite reach.
Taken together, these essays explore how we pick and choose from our experience and environment to help us in the ongoing project of defining who we are–how, for instance, the example of Mo Salah, the profound grief practices of Islam, the nerdy charm of The O.C.‘s Seth Cohen, and the long shadow of colonialism can cohere into a new and powerful whole.
With the perfect balance of relatable humor and intellectual ferocity, Son of Elsewhere confronts what we know about ourselves, and most important, what we’re still learning. – Goodreads
Book Title: Son of Elsewhere
Author: Elamin Abdelmahmoud
Series: No
Edition: Audiobook
Published By: McClelland and Stewart
Released: May 17, 2022
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Immigration, Identity
Pages: 280
Date Read: January 3-5, 2023
Rating: 9/10
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.28/5 (1,775 ratings)