I feel like this book has been kicking around on the periphery of my reading since it first came out about a decade ago. I’ve always been a bit interested in it, but also a bit nervous about the “end of your life” part. It popped up in my library catalogue though, and I had been thinking of it recently, so I decided it was time to give it a try.
This both is and isn’t a book about a book club. The book club in question consisted of the author and his mother, who would read books together as she underwent treatment after a terminal cancer diagnosis. His mother was a huge reader, and Schwalbe worked in publishing, so books were a way in which they connected to one another. They had been discussing books for years, but hadn’t put in a conscious effort to read the same ones around the same time.
The book is really more of a memoir than a literary discussion. It is structured as an account of the last years of his mother’s life, but their reading is scattered throughout it and tied into the conversations they had. The books they read helped them to share ideas and opinions, and even to discuss topics they never had before without doing so directly. It was also a welcome distraction, at times, from the situation they were in. Schwalbe’s mother was a strong woman – she worked for humanitarian organizations, and right up until the end of her life was deeply involved in raising money to build a library in Afghanistan, a place she felt a deep connection to.
Their relationship wasn’t without its tense patches – religion is one of the things they didn’t see eye to eye on, for example. His mother drew a lot of solace from her faith, whereas Schwalbe didn’t believe in the same things. But through the stories he shares, the books they read, and his mother’s thoughts on them, we learn about their connection and how agreement isn’t necessary in order to love and respect another person.
It’s not an easy book, as you can imagine, but it also is more about the ways in which his mother showed him how to love and lead with kindness, what her values were and what ended up being important in those last years and months of a life that was about to end. When all the superfluous stuff is stripped away, what really matters at the end? For his mother it was family, love, continuing to live right up until the end, and not losing her empathy for those around her even when things were so hard for her.
I have to say, by the end of the book I really, really wanted to read his mother’s memoirs, because it sounded like she had an amazing life!
There were some really touching moments in this book, but it didn’t hit me quite as hard as I expected, and I’m not entirely sure why. It’s a good book to read if you’re interested in this topic or in mother-son relationships. It wasn’t the most impactful memoir of death/dying I’ve ever read (When Breath Becomes Air is probably top of my list, and I doubt anything will ever knock it off that spot), but it is an interesting look into the role of literature in human experience and relationships. Worth trying if you think it might appeal to you (but obviously, trigger warnings for cancer, dying, illness and death)!
The inspiring story of a son and his dying mother, who form a “book club” that brings them together as her life comes to a close.
Mary Anne Schwalbe is waiting for her chemotherapy treatments when Will casually asks her what she’s reading. The conversation they have grows into tradition: soon they are reading the same books so they can have something to talk about in the hospital waiting room. The ones they choose range from classic to popular, from fantastic to spiritual, and we hear their passion for reading and their love for each other in their intimate and searching discussions.
A profoundly moving testament to the power of love between a child and parent, and the power of reading in our lives. – Goodreads
Book Title: The End of Your Life Book Club
Author: Will Schwalbe
Series: No
Edition: Audiobook
Published By: Knopf
Released: October 2, 2012
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Cancer, Books, Dying
Pages: 336
Date Read: August 2-4, 2022
Rating: 6/10
Average Goodreads Rating: 3.80/5 (53,317 ratings)
My book club read this book several years ago for a December meeting. I got a bright idea to hit the used book stores in the area and buy books off the reading list of books Schwebke and his mom read. I wrapped them up and gave them out as gifts to the gals in the club with a little sticker attached to them announcing that these books were now part of a mini-book club: a book club within the book club. I envisioned that gals would read them and return them to the next meeting and swap with others who returned their book. Then they would set up a coffee date to discuss the book they’d both read. That fell apart the very first month. A few of the books have been circulated but everyone lost interest and the mini book club idea died on the vine. Ha!
That is such a cool idea! Now I wish I could join your book club! It’s a shame it didn’t work out as planned, but at least a few of them did end up getting some attention!