I started this book last April and stopped – not because I wasn’t enjoying it or didn’t want to read it, but because I knew I’d love it so much that I couldn’t bear the idea of it being finished. I decided to come back to it and treat myself because it’s the first book of 2025 and also it’s been a tough month (all two days of it) and I deserve a treat. And my goodness was I ever right about this one!
First of all, here’s what you need to know about Matilda Boseley (from what I know). She’s an Australian journalist who has worked for The Guardian and, according to this book, specializes in making short, succinct social media videos that provide easy-to-digest news direct to people who didn’t even know they were looking for it. She struggled all of her childhood and early adulthood with the increasing demands life placed on her, and suffered a lot of knocks to her self esteem, body image, sense of capability and overall mental health. But then, thanks to a combo of pandemic lockdowns and a flood of ADHD-based content hitting platforms like TikTok, she began to suspect that perhaps there was something more going on that underpinned all of her struggles. So she started down a new road – the road of adult ADHD diagnosis and the subsequent steep learning curve of what that means and how to navigate it.
Her diagnosis was an immediate relief, but it opened up a lot of trauma that had been suppressed, as well as leaving her feeling like, “okay, knowing I have ADHD is all well and good, but now what?” As I’m beginning to understand, being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult is such an intense experience – for the person who is being diagnosed, and for everyone close to them. Not only is it a lot of work to learn about ADHD and dispel the harmful stereotypes and myths that surround it, but we also have to look back over our entire lives and weave this new knowledge into the tapestry of our experiences. It’s a lot to deal with all at once. It’s also hard to find solid information, because there’s so much contradiction out there, even amongst the experts and doctors. There’s simply a lot that we don’t know for sure about ADHD, and that in itself is a lot to process.
I’ve been reading a lot of books (or trying to) about ADHD over the past few years – books about women and ADHD, books about children with ADHD, books that present tools that will apparently help you live with ADHD (most don’t), books about parenting kids with ADHD, books about parenting kids with ADHD when you yourself have ADHD, serious scholarly books that slog through a ton of important but really boring data (some of which is already out of date anyway). And let’s not forget memoirs by people with ADHD (and Autism, because there’s overlap) about what it’s been like for them living with these conditions. Each one of these has offered at least a little bit of useful or interesting information, but none have really managed to give me a manageable, interesting and factually accurate overview. The memoirs help me feel like I’m not alone, but often lack much certainty about what to do next (as they’re often written by other people who are not too far off where I am now). The factual books are useful, but are often dry and repetitious, and some of them leave me feeling depressed, overwhelmed or doubtful that they’re entirely accurate – or all three. This is the first book I’ve found that manages to balance out all of the information I’m looking for along with personal sharing and does it while not losing my interest at all.
Boseley’s journalism background is clearly evident. She switches seamlessly between endearing, recognizable and often funny anecdotes that exemplify points she’s discussing, and extremely well-researched information that includes all the greatest hits, along with newer studies and theories as well as terms that are being added to the ADHD lexicon largely by online influencers that, while not exactly medical terminology, nevertheless manage to capture and succinctly communicate experiences that are common to ADHD people but that are hard to explain. She discusses the risks that are associated with having ADHD (particularly undiagnosed and/or untreated), the effects of living with it unknowingly, the trauma it causes, the co-morbidities it’s often seen with and the common difficulties people with ADHD face just trying to live life.
Boseley is my new hero. She managed to take all the dry research I couldn’t get through and distill it down into something that not only made sense to me, but that didn’t bore me to tears. She asked the same questions I have, and found experts who could answer them (as well as anyone could, as some questions just don’t have clear answers – but even that reassured me because it’s not just that I haven’t found the answers, it’s that there really aren’t any solid ones!).
One of the things she discusses briefly in the book is that there are a lot of very polarized representations of ADHD out there. There’s the view that it’s a horrendous disability and that everyone with it is a lost cause, doomed to be a failure at the basics of life and end up nothing but a drain on the people around them (or alone). Then there’s the opposing narrative that ADHD is a “superpower” and that anyone with it should be grateful for the gift they’ve been given, and go create a successful company or do something death-defying. But as she points out, neither of these is the truth. The truth of living with ADHD exists somewhere in between the two, in a large grey area. And not only that, but there are variations of grey depending on genetics, where you’re born, what your family is like, whether you were diagnosed early, whether medications are available (and affordable) where you live, your financial resources, etc. To understand ADHD to any degree means getting comfortable with the grey area. Because sure, there are some cool things about having ADHD – we’re silly, entertaining, can get stuff done when we’re in the mood, and have a huge capacity for love and empathy. But we also have some huge challenges as well, and those challenges vary a lot from one ADHDer to another. Nothing about ADHD is simple. And for a lot of us the whole “superpower” narrative, as positive as it can seem on the surface, can make us feel even more like we’re failing when we’ve forgotten to eat breakfast, can’t find one of our shoes, and have been sitting staring at a wall for 15 minutes because we literally cannot make ourselves stand up. It’s not just a disability, but it can be very disabling. It’s not a superpower, even though it can bring some awesome benefits. Like everything else about it, it’s a messy combination of the above with liberal sprinkles of trauma, other mental health issues, addictive tendencies and often other random traits we’ve borrowed from things like autism sprinkled in on top.
I loved my time spent with Boseley. Her honesty, sharp research skills, ability to make complex information simple, and humour were the mix I wanted to find in a book. I don’t think there’s anything you need to learn when you’re first diagnosed and coming to terms with your neurodivergent status that she doesn’t cover in this book. It’s a tough adjustment, but much easier if you can find resources to help you along the way – like some good books. This is exactly the book I’d imagined and wished for, but didn’t think existed. I recommend it wholeheartedly, to all of you, but especially anyone who is struggling with a recent ADHD diagnosis (for you or someone you care about). It’s a great place to start.
Matilda Boseley’s adult ADHD diagnosis was a massive, earth-shattering event. She was given a prescription but had no idea what ADHD meant for her identity, her relationships or her future.
Twelve months of confusion later, journalist Matilda embarked on an epic voyage to figure out what’s really happening in the stormy seas of the ADHD brain and write the guide she wished she’d had.
The Year I Met My Brain is the ultimate travel companion for navigating and enjoying life as an ADHD adult,
– what adult ADHD symptoms look like
– why so many ADHDers (especially females) are missed as kids
– how the disorder impacts our relationships, careers and self-esteem
– why we unfairly treat ourselves like failures – and how to find self-forgiveness and healing
– practical tips for social and organisational wins
– and, most importantly, how to make our lives work to fit our brains rather than trying to force our brains to fit our lives.
Uplifting, empowering, deeply researched and sparkling with ‘a-ha’ moments, The Year I Met My Brain is an invaluable resource for ADHDers and those who love them. – Goodreads
Book Title: The Year I Met My Brain
Author: Matilda Boseley
Edition: Audiobook
Published By: Penguin
Released: October 3, 2023
Genre: Non-Fiction, Memoir, Self Helpish, ADHD, Mental Health, Humour, + All the Boring Stuff – Except Not Boring
Pages: 433
Date Read: January 3-4, 2025
Rating: 10/10
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.40/5 (1,631 ratings)