This week’s topic is an interesting one, but also a difficult one. Most aspects of my reading life have remained relatively constant, with minor situational changes. But here are a few things that are different now than they were about three years ago, whether the changes will persist or whether some of them will revert is anyone’s guess!
Motherhood. Well, the tiny elephant in this room is, of course, a toddler. I used to read at least a book a week, usually more. Getting through more than 50 books a year was easy, and reviewing books as I requested them rarely proved to be a challenge. Then a tiny human showed up and everything changed. I didn’t read more than five new books the year after her birth – I re-read easy books like the Harry Potter series and parenting books (primarily ones that offered any advice on how to make a tiny human eat and sleep so I could crawl out of the fetal position and stop crying for long enough to do the same). I started reading again after I came off my mood stabilizing meds and have been slowly increasing how many books I’ve gone through ever since. But I’m still not back to the reading speed I managed before, and my blog doesn’t get nearly as many posts (I used to do at least five a week, now it’s two). It’s definitely been more than worth it, but it has been a big change.
Audiobooks. I never really listened to audiobooks before having a kid, but they suddenly gained appeal because of all the time I spend doing mindless tasks that keep my hands busy, but not my brain. I’ve loved including them in my reading life and been pleasantly surprised by my ability to actually pay attention enough to follow the stories and information.
YA to adult. I used to read a lot of YA books. They were easy to get into, fast to read, engaging, and often had important points to make. YA books didn’t really exist when I was a teenager, so I grew up reading adult books and whatever books for young readers I could get my hands on. But they didn’t have the diversity, representation, relatable characters or relevant issues and plots that today’s selection have. So I think it was appealing to catch up on what I had missed and find some new favourites. I hope one day the couple of years I spent reading YA will help me share some books I loved with my daughter when she’s a teenager. After I had a kid, though, I stopped craving the easy escapism of YA books the same way I had, and started looking for books that reflected my current experiences and concerns – motherhood, issues that might affect my daughter or that I want to know more about to teach her, and mental health issues that help me deal with my own.
Reading more non-fiction. I have no idea why, but non-fiction and memoirs have gained a strong attraction for me in the past year especially. As I said in the previous section, this is partly due to wanting to educate myself to pass that knowledge on to my daughter as she’s growing up. I also think that being a stay-at-home mom, as wonderful as it is, can be difficult. I already missed learning when I left university and started working. But now I rarely talk to other adults, I don’t have a job or any call for my expertise or opinions on anything. Problem-solving consists of figuring out how to get my kid to eat something other than granola bars or trying to figure out what to pack for preschool. It’s not exactly intellectually stimulating. So I crave information and something for my mind to sink its teeth into and turn over. Something to engage with and learn from.
New topics. Motherhood is, of course, a topic of great interest to me now that I’m a mother, and particularly now that I know how isolating motherhood is and how little it is respected or appreciated, even by those closest to us. There’s judgement and competition in pretty much every interaction involving kids, and it’s exhausting. On top of that, there are so many things to decide and worry about for our kids, particularly in today’s world. Figuring out how to balance their need for increasing independence with a need to protect them from all of the horrible things in the world that could hurt them is exhausting and impossible. So reading other mothers’ accounts helps me feel less alone and helps me sort through some of the emotions that come with the territory. I’ve also had a lot of physical and mental health issues to deal with in a short time, and have been reading a lot of books on the subject to help me deal with them. Memoirs are high on my list, particularly those that deal with mental health issues (even ones that aren’t similar to my own) or physical problems. Again, I find it helps me feel less alone and helps me sort through the emotions that accompany the daily strain of managing a chronic medical condition, anemia, a serious and debilitating injury and severe mental health issues, all while taking care of a toddler and trying to be a decent human being. Mostly failing and feeling like a failure. So it has been helpful to find people whose stories have held challenges, and who have found a way to keep going in spite of difficult circumstances. It has helped to find people whose stories are harder than my own, too, because it puts things into perspective and helps me focus on all the wonderful things I do have in my life, in spite of all the bad.
Kid’s books. I never read them before. Not since I was a kid myself. But I’m learning what makes a good kid’s story – and finding some that my daughter enjoys reading and that I enjoy reading to her. Ones with intricate illustrations that give us more than the story to discuss, ones that use humour and others that are refreshingly irreverent. It has been a fascinating new area for me, and seeing my daughter’s love of books blossom has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. She now has whole books memorized and sits in her room with her owl night light “reading” to herself when she can’t sleep. She asks for me to read book after book to her on rainy or low-energy days, and she giggles at all the funny bits even if she’s heard them a thousand times. I’m also learning to appreciate the authors whose books help me teach her about difficult concepts like feelings and morality and empathy. And those that provide diversity that is lacking in our very white part of the world. I have a new appreciation for authors who write truly great kids books, and am grateful to have had such a wonderful reason to explore them.
When I read. I used to read on the bus to and from work (about an hour and a half a day), on lunch breaks, in the evenings, at bedtime and on weekends. Now I read when my kid is occupied doing something else, listen to audiobooks when I’m cooking or folding laundry or walking somewhere and occasionally take some time off to really focus on it (usually twice a year when Dewey’s 24-Hour Readathon happens). Once in a while if I really get into a book I will read in the evening after she’s in bed, but usually I’m tired and I just want to watch TV and go to sleep. So my total amount of reading time is less now than it was, and happens at different times and in different ways.
No review copies. I used to review books for Random House, but when they merged with Penguin there were a lot of staffing and structural changes that meant the person I had been dealing with was no longer there. It also happened around the time I became a mom, and building a new relationship with the media team at Penguin-Random House or trying to establish connections with other publishers wasn’t something I had the time or energy for. In the end it has been working better for me to just get my own copies of books. It means no pressure to read books by a certain date, no worries about DNFing books that aren’t holding my interest, and no guilt about ARCs languishing unread on my shelves. One day I hope to be able to re-commit to blogging as I used to, and will want to re-build my relationships with publishers, but for now I’m pretty content to support them as a customer. I’m lucky that I can afford to, and I definitely want to be supporting publishers and authors as much as I can.
More ebooks. Because I’m reading more in small chunks of time while my kid is snuggling with me at bedtime or reading on my lap or colouring or playing with a friend, it really helps to have ebooks on my phone. It’s always with me, and it gives me the opportunity to bring out a book and read whenever I have even five minutes of down time. I cobble together enough time through the week doing this to get through 200-300 pages without really sitting down specifically to read, so I think that’s definitely worthwhile!
That’s all I can think of for now. What about you guys? How has your reading changed over the past few years? For any moms out there, how did your reading change when you entered motherhood? Did you find any similarities to my changes?
Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly link-up feature created by The Broke and the Bookish and hosted by Jana at That Artsy Reader Girl. Every week TTT has a different topic, and everyone who links up has to create a link of ten items that fit that topic. To see past and upcoming topics, go here.
I mean, first I just have to say THANK YOU for writing this post. As a new(er) mother, there is so much in this post that resonated with me. My son is just over a year old, and during the first year of his life, I think I read FOUR whole books. Maybe three, actually… One of them was the first Harry Potter novel, which I read out loud to my son during the first three months of his life (so you know…like three pages at a time).
Now that he’s a little older and a little more self sufficient (or, like, I just turn a blind eye to the guilt when I turn on Sesame Street to distract him for an hour) I can read a little more. But, even though I have the time now, I still don’t always have the energy. I find it much more challenging to get invested or interested in the novels I pick out, and end up flipping through Netflix instead.
I do love diving in to all of the picture books though. We make it a point to go to the library weekly to pick out new reads. And, it’s really exciting to watch my son get excited for the library visits. Plus, the little kid in me just loves picture books too!
I tried reading HP aloud to mine when she was about that age too! I felt so ridiculous, though, cos she was just staring at me like, “you do realize I can’t even see my own hand, let alone understand what a muggle is, right, mum?” that I eventually gave up and just read them to myself. I started reading on my phone so I could read while I held her at night waiting for her to go to sleep. That was kind of nice, but still, I re-read the easy books and not much else. It wasn’t until mine was over a year that I finally started to be able to concentrate and take interest in reading again. It’s continued to fluctuate – some moths I read 6 books, some months one – but I’m able to read again and I’m grateful for it. Audiobooks help, as do ebooks so I can read in any down time.
I get you on the guilt of TV distraction, but honestly, an hour of Sesame Street is not going to do any damage, and taking that time to recoup your energy from all the emotional labour of being a mum will make you a better one. I say enjoy, guilt-free! (I know, much easier said than done. But try!)
I love being part of my kid’s journey into reading. I try to always say yes when she asks me to read to her, even if I’ve read ten books in a row. We’re just doing our first chapter book now for Christmas (How Winston Delivered Christmas – it has one chapter and an accompanying activity for each day of December to Christmas – lots of fun!). If you ever want to chat great kids books for different ages, hit me up on Twitter or by email! It’s a new fascination of mine.
Sorry it took me so long to reply to this! I’ve tried a few times and either gotten distracted or had technical difficulties. Another down side – though I keep promising myself I’ll keep up with comments on the blog, it’s all I can do to keep the posts and reading going! But your comment meant a lot to me, so thank you so much for stopping by! It always helps to hear from fellow mums who are also readers!
That’s a lot change and a lot of sense-making! I have just started getting into audiobooks lately. I used to be sooo unable to focus on them. My mind wanders easily when I’m listening to things but they’ve become a bit of a blessing while I’m working and I’ve been getting better about listening to them–so I can definitely see why you’ve been reaching for them more now as you embrace motherhood! They are great for a variety of multitasking.
I had the same problem with audiobooks! I still do when I haven’t listened to one in a while. Once I get into the swing of one, though, I find a groove. It helps to listen on a faster speed, select books that move quickly and are engaging. The narrator matters too. Totally glad I gave them another try!
Yes, having young children will do that. Great that you can read audio books while you do mindless chores!
Reading with a toddler is hard. You’re just so tired all the time and too busy chasing them around. It gets easier again as they get older, though. You just have to wait a few year so that you can read when they’re reading. 😉
I cannot even tell you how excited I am about that prospect! She sometimes sits and “reads” to herself from books she has memorized, and that’s pretty sweet. Sometimes she’ll play with a book of mine I have given her and “read” it on my lap while I read, though that doesn’t usually last long! It’s totally worth it though, and I know in future there’ll be plenty of time to read but less cuddles. So I’m happy to take the cuddles while they last!
I read a lot more YA now that my kids are teenagers. And Audiobooks are great for mindless tasks.
Yeah, I think I’ll keep reading along at her level even when she’s reading to herself. I like being part of her reading life and talking to her about what she’s reading. I’ve started paying more attention to middle grade books and am looking forward to the day I can finally read Harry Potter to her!
Nice list! Motherhood definitely affects the different aspects of reading!
I definitely relate to a lot of what you’ve written here. I have branched out to different genres more and left my genre comfort zones and I can’t believe I forgot to add to my list that I’m also listening to a lot more audiobooks than before! Great post 🙂
My TTT post
It doesn’t seem like it now, of course, but that horrible, intensive mothering phase lasts for a relatively short time. When a child turns five, it enters a golden age where the child is loving and submissive yet able to do most things for itself, and that lasts about seven wonderful years.
I thought those years would never end, and that I would never have a reading life again.
I know that soon everything will change, and I will miss the time I spend with my kid now – bad and good. So I try really hard to just be in the moment and really soak it all in. There will be plenty of time for reading when she’s older and doing more things on her own. This time is hers. I’m totally cool with that. 😉
I’m more into nonfiction and adult fiction these days as well. Good list.
My TTT.
I love how you explained every point. It’s something I do as well, and I don’t see it done in many blogs. Like, I love details I want to know!!
Jokes aside, I’m glad that you’re building up back to your old reading pace after becoming a mom. I’m sure you’ll continue on the upward curve.
My TTT: https://thewordyhabitat.wordpress.com/2019/11/19/10-changes-in-my-reading-life/
Thanks! I’m never sure if it’s boring to people, so it’s nice to hear that you enjoy it! I know I could just do a bare list, but I like to chat and this is where I get to chat about things related to books. Thank you!
I’ve been reading more non fiction too!
It’s cool that you’re getting more into audiobooks.
Here is our Top Ten Tuesday.
Great post! I definitely read less when my kids were little, but hang in there! When my youngest turned four, I suddenly felt like I had more time again and I started reading more books. I haven’t stopped since! It’s okay to take that time out. Like you said, I spent more time reading to my kids than reading for me, but I wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world. 🙂
My off-topic TTT
That’s exactly how I feel. This time when she wants to hang out with me and have me read with her and play with her and just BE with her isn’t going to last forever. If it means I miss out on reading some books, oh well. I won’t regret it!