Life is so full of small moments, some that you barely register at the time, others that you know are momentous as they happen. One that I keep wishing I could go back to was the last time my baby fell asleep on my shoulder. The warm breath on my neck, the weight of that little body against mine, the pink cheeks, the beautiful baby scent. At the time I was exhausted, suffering from post-partum (and undiagnosed ADHD) and just so far past burned out that I think I probably just wanted to put the baby down so I could go and do laundry and clean the house and, eventually, maybe get some sleep. I didn’t realize it was the last time. I didn’t soak it up or spend an extra moment feeling that beautiful trust and love that surrounded us like a bubble. I’d give (almost) anything to go back to that moment and really appreciate it.
On the plus side, the fact that I didn’t and that now I regret it so much has made me really take time here and there to soak in magical moments – snuggling with my kid on the grass with a breeze playing over us and warm sun on our skin. Watching tiny hands plant seeds and pat down the soil, carefully write out a marker and place it next to the buried seed. Watching tiny limbs tangled in blankets and those beautiful eyelashes brushing flushed cheeks. Really feeling tiny arms around me and hear that tiny voice telling me, “I love you.” Those little moments are now ones I try to really feel and appreciate, and there are so many of them. Those are the best part of life.
What about you guys? Which moment or moments would you like to go back to? Is it a big one or, like me, something small?
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Of course I am very far from those moments with my kids (now almost 40 and 37) as babies, but the memories of those times are vivid. And I am happy that I’ve gotten to experience those moments again with my grandchildren. I hope to get to experience a moment like that this very week with my new great-grand-nephew!
I’m very glad to hear that the memories stay vivid! It’s magical. Unfortunately I’m not able to have any more babies, though I wish I could, but I’m holding on to all the lovely moments that I never expected to have but have been given thanks to my wonderful kiddo. Best memories of my life, for sure! I don’t know if grandchildren will be in my future – I want my kid to do whatever they want, and if having kids isn’t part of it, then I don’t want there to be any pressure from me at all. So I’m just soaking in the moments now! Congratulations on your new great-grand-nephew, I hope you get to enjoy those wonderful moments this week as well!
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