For a long time in my life the answer to this would have been simple: I don’t. But over the past several years, with some hard work and (a lot of) therapy, I’ve made a lot of progress in feeling ownership and some modicum of control over my emotions. I can’t will myself out of a bad mood or quell my anger instantly (especially that last one), but I’ve gotten much better at not dwelling. This is one area parenthood has really helped with. I have the odd day when I just consistently feel blah all day. But most of the time I am brought out of it because my kid needs me. It’s nearly impossible for me to remain a cloud of pure doom when my child is standing in front of me holding up a picture and saying, “Look mum! Look at the drawing I just made! It’s a sleeping snake who got woken up by its bubblegum bubble popping!” Or when I feel tiny arms wrapping around my neck and a tiny, hot cheek pressed against mine. That is pure joy, folks, and it’s rare there’s a bad mood stronger than that.
But when my kid isn’t around I’ve also gotten better at finding other productive things to even myself out. I’ll listen to music and dance around or I’ll tidy up a mess or I’ll plant some seeds or I’ll make something for my kid or I’ll cook. Anything that forces me to pay attention to the world around me rather than the world in my head. And failing all else, I find a good murdery TV show on Netflix and I binge the crap out of it until I am not focused on myself anymore.
What about you guys?
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All very relatable. I tend to find something t distract myself and/or help me recharge, but also it’s just generally harder to get too turned-in in my head with the boys around. A distracting show or some music is always a good answer.
Agreed. Distraction is key – luckily with my brain distraction is a forte!! Kids are definitely a huge help at bringing you out of yourself, and it’s taught me that it’s possible so now I feel more like I can do it for myself. Music always helps!
Cooking is a good one. What a nice distraction that is.
Right? Eating, too 😉
Oooh, tidying is a good one! I always feel stress melt away when I get the instant gratification of a cleaned up mess. Music and dancing are also excellent mood lifters.
Unfortunately mess works the opposite way, and sometimes I don’t have the ability to get started on cleaning! But when I do, definitely a huge help. I love music for its ability to bolster my mood – I have a playlist of songs that make me feel good and make me want to move!